Romancing Life
My sister, Kate, recently told me a story about a romance she had with her cat, Violet, at the hotsprings. Stay with me here …. Her husband and son were gone, and so there was no one home to care for the cat while she was away, and she’s a mellow cat, so she thought she’d take her with her and see how it went (this is SO Kate). And what unfolded was this amazing, intimate, and what she could only call romantic experience with her. Violet was very happy at the hot springs, as there was lots of outdoor space, critters to hunt, and sun to sleep in. But even more, because they were outside of their normal routine, it seemed to inspire Violet to see my sister in a new light, and vice versa. They wanted to spend all their free time together, and be near each other almost constantly. When Kate returned from sitting in the pools, Violet greeted her with a new enthusiasm and grace. The usual figure eights at her feet for dinner, turned in to languid, long strokes with melodic purrs to communicate her pleasure at Kate’s return. Sleeping together took on a whole new intimacy too. Violet now slipped inside the sleeping with Kate, and curled up on her stomach. When they woke, they lingered for hours petting and purring and loving. It was a new found sense of love that took them out of ordinary time, and into a dimension in which time is relative, and a moment can last for eternity. Isn’t that romantic?
I loved this story so much for many reasons, no the least of which is how completely charming my sister is, in general, but also in relationship to animals. She’s the kind of person you want as a best friend just because because everything she does is so simple, and yet deeply felt. It’s magical. Anyway, she went on to share that this experience had her reconsidering what romance even was. AH! What a revelation! She’s brilliant. The inter webs define romance this way: “A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.” That’s a pretty good definition, I think. So I began to ponder this notion in my own life. WOW.
What I realized is that I am in the middle of an epic romance. With Life. What a treasure to have this articulated for me! When I sit and gaze at this jungle before me, what I feel is absolute rapture, time stops, and I am flooded with all kinds of oxytocin and it feels like honey flows in my veins. This is romance, no? When I sit down to write every morning, or feel my feet on my patio as I dance the unseen dance, I am tingly and excited by Life moving through me. It’s like me and the world suddenly woke up one day and saw each other in a completely new light. And just like when you’re in love, everything else, the shit, the pigs, the smells, all seem so much less … bothersome.
And what a beautiful gift to give ourselves too, to take romance out of the strictly human to sexually attracted human realm and claim it as an Essential state, which is actually what it feels like to me. I love this! We get so bogged down by Hollywood versions of romance, and if we are not partnered, it can make us feel like romance is “out there” somewhere, and not for us. Don’t believe it! Romance lives inside you!
How are you experiencing romance in your everyday life? What gives you that warm intimate feeling as you do it? Have you given your full presence to the sunset? To the trees? To your cat? To your sister? To yourself? Yeah, that last one. That’s for you.
Now, I just want to say, not just to you, but to the Universe, that just because I am romancing Life, doesn’t mean I don’t want flesh and blood romance too. It’s been a while, and I’m ready! But I am sure grateful I learned this one too - seems like it’ll make all the difference in the next flesh and blood romance that comes my way.